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"I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to 'cut back.' From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible."
(Erma Bombeck)

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Wednesday
Jun242009

Playing catch-up

It’s been too long since I’ve updated my blog, so tonight I’m playing catch-up. Life has been busy with wonderful happenings this month. Here’s a re-cap:

On June 12, my daughter graduated from Mount Vernon Christian School (see photo). I cannot express the mixture of emotions I felt as I watched her enter the gymnasium wearing her cap and gown. I was full of pride, excitement, joy, and even some sadness.

A new season of her life (and mine) will now begin. I thought I did pretty well holding it together until the end of the program when her class joined to sing together. I choked back tears as I recalled watching them as children singing their kindergarten songs for appreciative parents. Where did the time go?

Those spunky little children have grown into beautiful young men and women (and they are still spunky, thank goodness). It seems especially poignant that one of Ariel’s classmates, a young man from a family of 10 kids, is leaving this week for Georgia for basic training in the army. How can that little freckle-faced kid be old enough to be a soldier? Aaagghhh!!!!

I am proud of Ariel’s accomplishments, but more importantly, I’m proud of the person she has become. She has an authentic faith in God, she is a young woman of character, she’s funny, beautiful, smart, and talented (and I’m not biased)! Wow. She is so much more than I ever imagined a daughter of mine could be.

As I’ve said before, I would love to take the credit, but I know that God has covered a multitude of my mess-ups. I hope that gives encouragement to other parents out there!

The day of Ariel’s graduation, parents were invited to join the seniors for their Senior Breakfast at 7:00 a.m. After a delicious breakfast, both students and parents were invited to speak at an open mike. No one got up to speak. After a couple of uncomfortable minutes, I made my way to the mike. I had no idea what I was going to say. I just spoke from my heart.

I mentioned how proud I was to see the beautiful young men and women that these kids had become. I talked about how upset I was a year ago when I got my cancer diagnosis, thinking that it would ruin my daughter’s senior year. Instead, I believe we drew closer together as a family.

I also wanted the teachers and administrators to know how thankful I was for the sacrifices they’ve made and for genuinely caring about our kids. Fortunately, I didn’t embarrass my daughter (not much, anyway). I was simply full of gratitude that day and wanted to share it.

On June 13 (also our 28th wedding anniversary), my husband and I participated in the American Cancer Society’s “Relay For Life” at the Burlington High School football field and track. We were part of a 10-member team for Skagit County PUD (my husband’s employer). Almost 900 people showed up to help raise funds to fight cancer.

I wish I had something exciting to say about the Relay, but I have to be honest and say that it was a bit of a disappointment. I didn’t know what to expect, but I had anticipated that I would connect more with other cancer survivors on a one-on-one basis. Instead, it was like being at a giant county fair, with food booths and attractions everywhere. I did meet a few people that I knew and we talked briefly, but overall, I felt very disconnected from most of the people there.

Unfortunately, my husband got gout the first day (it was a two-day deal), so I ended up walking the track mostly by myself. That was fine for awhile, but it would have been nice to have had a partner.

The most memorable part of the weekend was the “Survivor’s Lap,” which is the first lap of the weekend. All of the cancer survivors wear purple T-shirts and walk together around the track. It was a surreal experience. I felt humbled and honored to be there, but my overall sensation was disbelief.

All I could think was, “If anyone had told me a year ago that I’d be walking in a cancer survivor’s lap a year later, I’d have told them they were crazy!” Yet, there I was. It was heartening to see a young “survivor” dad in front of me, holding the hands of his two, young daughters as he walked the track. The other neat thing was to see so many teenagers walking the track morning, noon, and night.

The following day, we got up early to return to the Relay for the final breakfast and closing ceremony, then raced home and packed up supplies for a graduation party in another town for our daughter (we were co-hosting it with a classmate’s family).

The party was a lot of fun and I was touched that some of Ariel’s teachers made the effort to drive the distance to the party. One of them pulled me aside to tell me how much he enjoyed having her in his class. What a blessing to have teachers like that.

I sat in the living room with the mom of one of Ariel’s closest childhood friends. Her daughter is leaving in August to attend college in Chicago. I could sense her sadness in coming to grips with the impending absence of her only child.

As we talked, we reminisced about our girls’ early adventures and how much they have matured (seemingly overnight!). I think it was a comfort to both of us to talk about our shared memories. I recounted to her how I once explained to Ariel, “You know, I wasn’t always this boring. I got this way by having you. Having to be responsible and ‘mature’ will do that to a person!” Yep, it happens to the best of us (I can still disco dance, though, much to my daughter’s amusement).

So, lots to celebrate this month. I’m thankful that my treatment is finished and that I have been given more time to be a mom, a wife, a sister, and a daughter. I hope I use it wisely. As I reflect on the benchmark of my daughter’s graduation, the words to a poem I read long ago come to mind. The poem is called “The Changeling,” by James Russell Lowell. Here I will quote only the words of the first stanza, as they have always moved me:

I had a little daughter,
And she was given to me
To lead me gently backward
To the Heavenly Father's knee,
That I, by the force of nature,
Might in some dim wise divine
The depth of his infinite patience
To this wayward soul of mine.

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